There have been periods of time in my life when my life was not where it should have been with God. I am humble enough to admit that to anyone reading this because I have already admitted it to God. And even though that has been dealt with, the memories (not guilt and shame...just memories) of what it felt like to be distant from Him are still there. This isn't something that I hope goes away any time soon either. There is much to be learned by remembering what life felt like when I wasn't this close to God. But the one thing I will never forget is the games I was playing with God. Going to church each Sunday, but hiding from Him at the same time. A game many people play when it comes to their relationship with Him if they have un-dealt-with sin in their life.
The game of "hide and seek" with God isn't something new. It started with Adam and Eve and has been a problem for us (people) since then. It's what happens when the enemy tries to convince us of a few different things. One, that whatever sin is in our life it's "too big" for God to forgive...and even if He did, He certainly would make you live with guilt or consequences for sinning against Him. Two, the sin in your life is worth holding on to..it's not "hurting" anyone, so why should you have to give it up? Or three, you are already messed up in this thing now, so it would be impossible to get back to a good place with God now. You couldn't possibly be usable by God anymore. Lies, lies and more lies. Satan is the master of lies and it is the thing that he pumps into our heads ever day. When Adam and Eve sinned the bible tells us in Genesis 3:9-10, "Then the Lord God called to Adam and said to him, “Where are you?” So he (Adam) said, “I heard Your voice in the garden, and I was afraid because I was naked; and I hid myself.”". And this is the game we play. The enemy says "you're no good", so we believe or even partially believe this. Then God comes looking for us because He can see we are not where we used to be. Then we hide our face from Him in shame. But what we fail to release...and I'm sorry for how blunt this is....but what we fail to realize is that each time we go through this cycle we put Jesus back on the cross again. WE hang Him there. Why do I say this?...because the very sin you are involved in, the very sin that is making you hide (spiritually or physically) from God, is the very sin that Jesus already dealt with on the cross. He already died and paid the penalty for it so you don't have to pay it. And that is the truth we forget.....we don't have to, but we will allow ourselves to. Any sin left un-dealt-with is NOT good. In order for God to forgive it He needs you to humble yourself and come to Him. What He can do in that very moment words almost can't explain. At a time when you expect to feel condemnation, guilt, shame, regret.....He has an amazing way of making you feel loved, sought after, forgiven, set free and delivered.
We have to see that God sending Jesus to the cross was a lot like a parent sitting down and putting their arm around their child as they discuss the wrong that was done. This is one of those times that the parent knows the lesson here is WAY bigger and more necessary than the punishment. So the parent explains through love why that wasn't good for the child and relationship grows stronger. But the child also understands that the ONLY reason it was able to be dealt with this way is because the child faced the parent ready to get it all out and have it be dealt with. Getting to this place with God is critical. We have to allow Him to deal with everything in our life. We can't hide from Him...and we can't hide things from Him. And even though we know He is all knowing, the enemy still has a way of convincing us we are actually hiding something from Him. I know, because this was my life for many years. But now instead of playing "hide and seek" with God, I know when I mess up and I seek Him first. And when He wraps His arm around me and offers me correction and forgiveness, I feel loved and closer to Him. And I know love knowing that the plans of the enemy were just defeated.
God, thank You for seeking us. Please help us see that You are always seeking us. The only way sin can come between us is when we let it....when we don't deal with it. Holy Spirit, search our hearts and bring anything to the surface that needs to be dealt with. Help us have courage and faith to take it to God and not hide it or ourselves from Him anymore. In Jesus name, Amen
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