To Truly Lead, You Must Be Willing To Follow Him (Men)

"For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior." Ephesians 5:23

This is a very serious verse in the bible. In fact, for men, this should be one of the most serious verses we ever read. Men, you are the head of your family just as Christ is the head of the church! 

Today's blog is really directed at the men out there. Especially the ones who call themselves a Christ follower. I may be a little bold....I may be a little blunt. But I can also tell you that I will be directing every word I write at who I used to be, who I am and who I still hope to be one day. But I feel like there are things that God wants ALL men to get...and I'm just not sure we're quite getting it in today's society.

Men....you are called to lead. God makes that very clear in His word. That is not to say that there cannot being amazing women leaders in this world, because there can and there is. But what I am talking about today is understanding the responsibility that God has placed on our shoulders as men IN OUR HOMES. 

If you know my story, or have read my blogs long enough, then you may know I had a marriage end in a very painful and unwanted divorce in 2014. It was quite possibly one of the worst things I have gone through outside of the death of my father. And I can tell you that the ONLY thing that got me through it was drawing near to God, admitting I was too weak to get through it on my own, and then allowing Him to do a work in me and through me as I walked through a very dark valley. However, having said all that, let me say this, through the pain...God has taught me a lot!

The other night I got to spend some time around a camp fire with some great Christian men. And because one of them is about to get married, those of us who have walked that path were giving Him some Godly words of wisdom to take with him into his marriage. And as I sat there and listened to what we all had to say, there was one theme that was very clear. Be led by God...then be ready to lead and be ready to take responsibility! See, as men we love to take credit when the good stuff is going on. But man do we hate it when the bad stuff falls on our shoulders. And unfortunately, as leaders in our homes, it all falls on us. Let me be very transparent with you.....I am divorced because of to many years of not leading like I should have. Oh sure I would take on the responsibility of making the "tough decisions" in our home. But because my heart was not in the right place with God, I was making Godly choices for our home and my family. And I think the enemy can use the "good" in your life to get you to believe you're doing just fine. Until things start to come apart at the seams and you take a step back and finally say "man, I've been doing this all wrong". But sometimes we don't get to take that step back until it's way too late. Not too late for God...there is NO such thing. But maybe too late for both sides to fix things. Again, it takes two people in a marriage to get it to work right. Two people willing to fully submit to God. But if you have been leading the wrong way for too long and you try to fix that, the other person may not want to make it work anymore. Then you are left with the consequences that you have been helping to create for many years. 

I did not lead the way I know and understand God wanted me to, period! I made selfish decisions with something God entrusted me with. I controlled something that was never mine to control, it was always His. I did not treat the covenant with my wife AND God with the love, tenderness, seriousness and respect that I should have. And I had to watch something die right in front of my eyes....my marriage. My story is simple at the roots...I could have led better, but I didn't. And I lost something and someone I loved very dearly because of it....my marriage and my wife. And now I am left, after the fact, with a very deep, loving and pure relationship with God... and a regret that I didn't find it years earlier.

So men...ask yourself today "am I leading...God's way?". And I don't mean...I have a good job, pay the bills, provide....I mean, is my home in line with God's word. Cause if it's not, then it is time to fall at the feet of Jesus and ask for forgiveness for not taking care of something He entrusted you with. And then it's time to ask God to CORRECT and DIRECT you so you can lead. Because until He has your whole heart, complete devotion, complete love, complete trust, complete obedience and complete attention.....you will not be able to lead as He is calling you to do. And you don't want to be figuring that out when it's too late...trust me.

Please...please men...if you need help in this area, DO NOT let pride get in the way. Find a Godly man with Godly wisdom and ask him to help mentor you. Give him permission to speak into your life and point out things that you need to give to God. Sometimes we are doing it wrong because we didn't have the best examples in our own life growing up, but that doesn't mean God can't show you another example and teach you NOW.

God, I want to make this prayer simple....CREATE GODLY MEN. Raise up a generation of men that refuse to do things the worlds way. Create in men the desire to please you first....and let that flow down to the way we lead our families. Please Holy Spirit, do a work in us to make us Christlike....it is the ONLY way we will be able to do this right. And THANK YOU GOD that our past mistakes DO NOT need to determine what YOU can do with our future. In Jesus name, Amen