Is He In Control, Or In Charge?

I heard a message one time that challenged my thinking on whether God is in Control......or God is in charge. All my life I grew up hearing the phrase that God is in control, and all my life I just believed those words to be true. But it wasn't until recently that I began to really think about that.
We know that God gives man free will. We know that His word says He will not impose or force His self upon us. As much as He loves us and wants the best for us, He will allow us to make the decisions that we want to make. I've been in many conversations about why does God do this. Why does God allow us to do things that He's knows will not be good for us. And my answer is always the same. Because that too is God's way of showing us that He loves us. If you had a dog and you whipped and beat that dog until it listened to you, or you mistreated it every time it did something wrong, even if it did as told, would that be love or just acting out of fear? Or if you trained it correctly, with the right kind of loving discipline when needed and the right kind of reward when needed, wouldn't that dog then be loyal to you and love you? That is the difference between the dog knowing you are in charge, therefore it acts accordingly, or the dog knowing you're in control, therefore it does what it's told.
God gave us a mind, and He allows us to use that. But He also gave us a heart. And He knows that was controls the heart, controls the mind. Proverbs 19:21 and 16:9 both talk about how a man tries to make his own plans, but God is trying to direct His steps. God wants us to give Him our heart so we will lovingly listen to His wise instruction, not stubbornly do things our own way with our own mind.
God does not want to control us. He sent His son as a gift to us. And out of love, out of choice, He wants us to decide to accept that gift. He does not want to force His hand upon us like the dog that has been beaten into submission. His love for us will create the loving discipline we need, but even when that takes place it is still up to us how we will respond to that discipline. Will we be the rebellious child who responds by saying "no, I want to do this my way because my way is better for me", or will we be the child that allows ourselves to be taught through correction and responds "I may not like this thing that I am going through, but I will look for the lesson in it"?
When I heard that message on whether God is in control or in charge I will never forget the line that stuck out to me the most. "If we say God is in control, then that means we can blame Him for every single bad thing that happens, because he controlled it. And that just is not true". We can't blame God for every bad thing that happens because man has been given free will. And when man uses that free will in ways that do not line up with God, bad things happen.
God is still in charge of this world. God will decide who will walk into heaven on the day of judgement and He has shown through His word that there is only so much He will tolerate. And when someone is seen as "in charge" there is a level of respect that should come along with that. So we should respect the power that God possesses. We need to! We should also have a healthy, loving fear of God. In the bible we see that when God encountered people, there was a fear that came with that. They understood the amazing power that was God! And not all fear is a bad thing. Proverbs 1:7 says "The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge, but fools despise wisdom and instruction". It would be very wise of us to understand God's power, but to also understand God's love. Then we will understand why He was able to send Jesus, to overcome death and to promise us a way to be with Him in heaven for eternity. Because He had the power to do that. But we will also understand that He had to love to also do that!
God, Thank You that you do not want to just control us. ThankYou that you love us and allow us the choice and the freedom to love you back. Help us to know the difference between you being in charge, and you being in control. And teach us to respect, fear and understand Your power, but at the same time accept, understand and feel Your love. Help us to allow Your Holy Spirit to guide our hearts and transform our minds Lord. Thank You for all that You are and all that You do. In Jesus name, Amen