This time of the year can be such a blessing to many people. It can be a time that we truly think of all the things we are thankful for. It can be a time we see friends and family that we haven't seen for awhile. And it can be a time to give and receive to and from those you love. However, this can also be a very painful time of the year for some. It can be a time that they are reminded of a separation between them and someone they love. It might be a new separation or one that has been going on for far too long. The holidays can be time of awkward gathers where people who are holding hurt and unforgiveness try to gather and sometimes pretend like nothing is wrong. Or choose to sit out on the gathering because it is not worth the struggle they know they will have to go through. These situations are real and there are thousands of people who will be affected by this kind of relational damage over this holiday season.
Almost any time there is separation, or relational damage, there is also something else very common ...and this a problem in the area of forgiveness. Almost any time I have sat with someone in a time of prayer and this topic comes up one of the first things I hear is, "you don't understand what they did". To which I will typically follow up with, "You're right, but I don't need to understand what they did to understand how forgiveness works". There are always 2 sides to forgiveness and chances are every one of us are sitting in one, or have sat in one of the two places many times in our life.
One of those places is the need to forgive someone. Someone has done something directly, or even indirectly, to us or someone we love and it has created a place of hurt in our heart which has turned into unforgiveness. Unforgiveness, when left alone, can turn into hardness of the heart, a place of bitterness and can cause us to build up walls even when we don't realize it. Unforgivness is such a quiet destroyer. It is one of the things that can cause so much damage, yet at the same time cause us to feel so justified. But are we? Are we ever justified to do something that God specifically said not do to? There are literally too many verses in the bible to list out that deal with forgiveness. Ephesians 4:32 says "...forgive one another, as Christ has forgiven you". Mark 11:25 tells us "when you stand in prayer, forgive, if you have anything against anyone, so your Father may forgive you...". And Matthew 6:15 also says "...if you do not forgive others, neither will your Father forgive you..". Each of these verses very bluntly point out that God expects us to forgive IF we expect to be forgiven. You cannot go to God and ask for something as you stand there and tell Him you are not willing to do the same as your asking for...forgive.
The other place we can find ourself in, is the need to be forgiven. Another place that each and every one of us have been in our life. This is a tough place to be because it requires you coming to grips in your own heart that you may be wrong. You may owe someone an apology. And the fear that your apology may not be received. James 5:16 tells us that we need to "confess our sins to one another, that we may be healed...". Luke 6:27 says "...love your enemy, and do good to those who hate you". And Colossians 3:13 instructs "...if one has a complaint against another, forgive each other...". I especially like the verse in Colossians because it doesn't say if they are right in their complaint, it just says if someone has a complaint. How many times have you been in that place? Where someone says you hurt them and you didn't even realize you did....you may still need to say sorry, and you may still need to be forgiven.
You see, both forgiveness and the need to be forgiven touch on the same two things....and those are pride and being humble. Pride will prevent you from forgiving someone or asking to be forgiven, and in order to do either of those you will need to humble yourself. The one thing I tell anyone that I talk to about forgiveness is this...when you choose to forgive you are NOT saying what they did is ok, you are just saying I give it to God and trust Him with it. I release it! I do not need to be in control of it any more. And I trust God's justice system more than my own. And when asking someone to forgive you...you are saying telling God that you will humble yourself before Him. You will do what His Word instructs you to do because you trust His will and His way. You are being obedient.
Neither of these things might be easy at first, but if you trust God He will not lead you wrong. Internal healing will take place. And relational healing will as well if both parties are listening to God. But again, that is not for you to decide. You are just to do your part and let God do His. Trusting and believing, as well as offering or asking for the same grace and mercy that He offers us.
God, humble our hearts in the area of forgiveness. Help us be as Christlike as we can be when it comes to this topic. Give us strength and wisdom to not allow the enemy to sneak into our lives through an open door of unforgivenss. We know what Your Word says, now help us to live it. In Jesus name, Amen
No comments:
Post a Comment